OBAMA authorized a new bill today providing unlimited Pool Financing available only to Authorized Paramount Dealers.  Today, April 1st, President Obama announced that he was making an unlimited pool of money (pun intended) available to Paramount – the World’s #1 In-floor Systems Company.  Obama was heard to say that “we need to get more families in swimming pools and we are going to equip Paramount Capital Finance with the scratch to make that happen”.  He was further quoted as saying “I consider this the best bail-out, stimulus package available for the American Family and I hope everybody takes advantage by Diving In now”.  Not so reliable sources in Washington said the bill was titled:

Americas
Pool
Rescue
Initiative
Legislation

The bill apparently contains a number of typical government catch phrases such as:

Freedom
Opportunity
Outreach
Lizardfish
Shenanigans

Contributed by Bill Burt.